Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Movie: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Running Time: 2:25

Nominated for: Visual Effects

How I watched: Hulu

When it had me: Eagles!

When it lost me: Talking Monkeys

What systems does it challenge: I really couldn't say

Somehow I believed this movie was from 2023 and I thought I had already dodged it and now here it is haunting my blog. Guys, I tried, ok? I absolutely hate these movies. The originals always felt racist as hell to me and I'm not into talking animals so I'd just rather avoid this entirely.

But I tried to watch, ok? This takes place in LA; you can tell by the lavish waterfalls on the cliffs above the city. As we know, LA is naturally a jungle. A human-made virus has made people lose their language, smarts and sense of style, while making primates gain language, use of weapons, horse-back riding skills, sweaters and most importantly falconry.

Hold up a minute! One human has resisted the virus. She is the pretty one. In the first scene she is feral but don't worry by scene 3 she has amazing posture and personal pride.

There is a journey for falconer monkeys to rescue their family and neighbors from warring monkeys and then you know what? I fell asleep. And I can't be bothered to try again. This movie is nominated for Visual Effects and so they have already been honored! I'm out.