These two movies deserve to be reviewed together because they both deal with finding power in society where the odds are stacked against...
I'm just messing with you! This is the worst pairing of movies ever. The only thing they have in common is I didn't know where to put them. So here they are!
Movie: El Conde
Running Times: 1:50
Nominated for: Cinematography
How I watched: Netflix
When it had me: Vampires!
When it lost me: around 1:20
What systems does it challenge: Hahahahaha
I put this on back in September and watched most of it. It was slow and dry and confusing. Footage of vampires flying was really beautiful but I couldn't quite figure out what most of the characters wanted or what I should be rooting for. It was very pretty but I couldn't quite connect to it. Well, hold on. I'm jumping ahead. Let me tell you what it's about. Sorry if it sounds like a fever dream.
In El Conde, Augusto Pinochet, the Chilean dictator, is a vampire and lives in an old army barracks. Parts of the floor are worn or broken away and lavish furnishings rest on bare dirt. It looks cool but how does this come to pass? They seem to have lots of old riches but also nothing. His children want to inherit his wealth but that seems unlikely since he is immortal. They have a guillotine.
On my first viewing, which is hard to remember, I saw that a nun was coming in to try and take him out and there was maybe also a lot of concern about financial holdings and tax evasion or something? There was a basement kitchen with frozen hearts for vampire smoothies.
There might be spoilers below except I'm not even sure I'm getting anything right and you probably need some spoilers to watch this anyway?
When I went back recently to watch the final half hour I found out that Margaret Thatcher was a washer woman centuries ago in France when she became a vampire and she is also the mother of Pinochet and maybe also considers herself his soul mate and only love? So Pinochet's wife becomes a vampire to defend herself from Thatcher and the kids decide to kill all the vampires so they can inherit and the nun has sex with Pinochet before getting decapped at the guillotine and Margaret and Augusto drink smoothies to de-age themselves so they can start over.
Whew!
I'm betting there is some kick ass metaphor going on there about lineage and draining society and stuff but I'm not going digging for it. I really just don't have time. This is probably a film that if I had a cool professor who taught the history and properly introduced it that I would end up loving.
The director of this film is also a producer on one of this year's nominated documentary features, The Eternal Memory.
Movie: Flamin' Hot
Running Times: 1:39
Nominated for: Original Song
How I watched: Hulu
When it had me: Silliness
When it lost me: Too much silliness?
What systems does it challenge: Snack Factory Hierarchies
This movie was cute. That doesn't sound like a compliment but I don't mean anything negative by it. It was a funny and silly biopic about the invention of Flamin' Hot snacks. You could watch it with your elderly parents.
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