Promising Young Woman

Movie: Promising Young Woman
Nominated for: Best Picture, Original Screenplay, Actress in a Leading Role, Director, Film Editing
How I watched: DirecTV (Pandemic On-Demand style where the film is in theatres AND you can watch at home for $20)
When I fell asleep: No way
When it had me: The trailer
When it lost me: Never
What I have to say:  

I will always remember when I saw the trailer for Promising Young Woman in the theatre. It was January of 2020 and I was alone at the movies that day, watching some potential nominee for the Oscar Glutton Blog. When I realized the movie was about a woman speaking out about sexual assault AND getting some level of revenge, I gasped out loud in the theatre. And then came my nervous laughter. I sat up straighter in my seat, I started sweating. I was scandalized! You see, I believe in my bones that WOMEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT IT.

I felt a thrill that Emerald Fennell, the writer and director, had somehow broken the rules and made a whole movie that talked about it. ALL of it. I felt like she would get in trouble for making this movie and I felt like I would get in trouble for watching this movie but I knew so deeply in my soul that I had never wanted to see a movie more.

Imagine my shock one year later when this movie earns six nominations from the Academy! Maybe she won't get in trouble for this? Maybe we can talk about this stuff after all?

I finally got to watch this movie and I loved every little thing about it. I loved that there was a measure of humor and irony, because this mire is impossible to talk about without people tuning out from discomfort. I loved that it was a thriller because, in my experience, nothing makes men more afraid than women talking about this. I loved the production design that juxtaposes a light, bright feminine aesthetic with the underlying battle so many women fight every day. I loved Carey Mulligan's performance; she has created a hero that I have never seen before but I always needed. I loved the smart and nuanced brand of revenge that Cassy, the main character, exacts. But most of all, I love that Emerald Fennell talks about ALL of it.

Emerald Fennell talks first and foremost about the nice guys. The nice guys that scoop up Cassy and take her home so she will be “safe”. Cassy has a weekly ritual of appearing too drunk to take care of herself in a public setting and waiting to see who will take advantage. Within the realm of the movie she discovers, unfortunately, that every week someone is willing to help her out by volunteering to be her assaulter. These men are very vocal about how nice they are; seemingly proud of their role. These nice men think they are saviors for taking a woman home and somewhere along the way decide that they will take advantage of her. Are they good guys for making sure she will only be assaulted by one guy, instead of many? Are they good guys because, although they don't have “consent”, they aren't intending to cause her physical harm? Are they just too drunk to view her as a human being? I'm not sure.

I love that Cassy doesn't try to talk to the nice men. She shows them rather than tells them. She demonstrates for them, with herself as a clear-headed witness, what they are doing and how their actions do not match with their “nice guy” self image. She uses fear as a motivator to change behavior. She creates a culture where the men in her area have actually heard of her and talk amongst themselves and warn other men about the psycho that tries to entrap men. It is a brilliant strategy because if you get enough men to fear for themselves, then it doesn't matter if you have changed their minds about issues of women, sex and consent! To Cassy, the safety of women matters more than the comfort of men. Yeah, girl. I'm with you there.

Emerald Fennell sure makes it look like there are actually NO nice guys. I think there are "nice guys" but I don't think being nice is really enough. No one is all good or all bad and every one of us was raised in a misogynistic patriarchy that has historically allowed men a lot of free reign with women's bodies. None of us magically knows the right way of things. If we were raised to believe no one who knows you or cares about you can be a rapist, or that only sluts get themselves into those situations, well then, that's all we know. If men are told by society and peers that women are the gatekeepers of their pleasure and must be tricked into giving it over to them, then they will spend their entire lives trying to game that system; some in not so nice ways. Being nice doesn't mean you are immune to the ills of our larger society; it just means that you operate well within those confines.

And what about women? Women will tell you they don't want to get in the middle of a he said/she said. Women will say maybe you need to use words that are less disturbing or triggering for men. Women will shrug at you as if to say, “Join the club. It happens all the time.” Yes, Emerald Fennell holds up the mirror for them too, demonstrating that we suddenly feel different about it when it happens to us directly or to someone we hold dear; when we can no longer look the other way and count ourselves lucky.

Emerald Fennell talks about men's fear. The rapist in the film tells Cassy, “You don't understand. It's a man's worst fear to be accused of something like that.” He says it unironically, knowing the price paid by his victim! A man, knowing that a woman has faced something much more difficult than an accusation, still needs his fear centered. Because men have historically not faced any consequences for their non-consensual exploits, when there is even the threat of consequences, they explode in a rage. Does anyone else remember the veins bulging out of Brett Kavanaugh's forehead? Is that just me?

Even the most caring of guys in this film are unwilling to prioritize women's safety above men's fear because it has been demonstrated their entire lives that it just doesn't work that way. Cassy just keeps pushing to find out how hard men will go to escape their consequences.

This movie was smartly made and well done and likely to be my favorite film this year.

You can read further for my thoughts on the ending if you want. But maybe go watch it first?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The most heart breaking and brilliant scene in the movie for me comes after the Doctor-Rapist-Good Guy character must kill Cassy to preserve the life he has built for himself. His friend comes to him and repeatedly tells him, “This is NOT your fault. We are going to get through this.” Someone is there to support him and help him and assure him that this event will not be allowed to ruin his life. That friend even crawls over the dead body of a woman in order to reassure his friend. It's very touching and emotional. It is everything a victim of sexual assault should be told, complete with hugs, tears and fervent determination. It is a perfect script for a different circumstance.

My husband was disturbed and saddened that Cassy died for her cause in this movie and I was unfazed. I expected it. “Of course she had to die. We all know women can't speak up like that!” I realized it speaks to my own experience of our society that it makes sense to me that a woman would pay the price for such bravery. But maybe things can change. Maybe I can say some things. Maybe Emerald Fennell can show us some things. Maybe she can be celebrated for her story-telling and vision. It's a maybe that I am so ready for.